Friday, 6 December 2013

Gluten free Rocky Road (egg free, dairy free)

gluten free rocky road
20 days to go. That's two lots of ten or four lots of five. Whichever way you cut it, we ain't got long

I spend most of my life feeling like a freak. 

I dress differently to most people (for 'differently' read 'scruffily'), I'm a little offbeat and I am the queen of the inappropriate comment in polite society. (I'm still squirming over a comment I made at a swimming gala last weekend. Whole other story.)

And never do I feel more out of step than at Christmas.

I watch in amazement as sane, rational peers - who presumably grew up like me in the '70's when Christmas meant a Tiny Tears and a Chocolate Orange - drop bone shuddering amounts of cash on their offspring for Christmas.

This isn't me being a fiscal prude, I am talking £500 per child. At least £500 per child.

To put this in context, £500 would buy me a week long ski pass to the Quatre VallĂ©es and still give me change for vin chaud at the top of the Veysonnaz. A much more reasonable way to spend £500, I'm sure you'll agree.

Does no one else feel a little bit sickened by an iPad here, a Wii there and a pair of Ugg boots over yonder? All ripped open and cast aside with a careless thank you and a shifty look under the tree for the next expensive present.

I know I sound humbug-ish and of course I'm going to treat my kids, (and the music teachers, swim coaches, class teachers, babysitter, neighbour and the postman) but the gifts are going to be modest.

Because - news flash - my kids will still have a lovely Christmas with a good stash of thoughtful gifts, a hearty family meal, crappy crackers, a silly hat and a box set of Mr Bean. Yes they might wish for an iMacpadAir (or whatever) but if wishes were horses...

So is it impossibly whimsical and schmaltzy to say, 'Christmas is about family rather than greedy consumption'?

Well I've said it anyway and that's what I truly believe.

Apart from when it comes to chocolate.

When it comes to chocolate and Christmas, it's perfectly OK to gorge until you are actually sick. (In fact vomiting might even be necessary so that you can carry on consuming.)

So to facilitate your chocolate excesses, I've made some gluten free, dairy free Rocky Road.

More critically-minded readers will see that this is an easy way to get a festive post in before the grim reality of Christmas hits and there'll be no more blogging from me because I'll be rocking in a corner in the foetal position.

Gluten free Rocky Road

Although Rocky Road is usually made with ground up biscuits, I pretend to myself that using rice cereal makes this healthier. Tesco does a gluten free rice cereal, although the 'May Contain' lists nuts and soya. You could opt for your usual brand of 'safe' biscuits instead, or you could bake a batch of my GF, EF, DF ginger biscuits and crunch them up.

125g dairy free margarine
300g gluten free, dairy free chocolate
3 tbsps golden syrup
200g gluten free rice cereal (or GF, DF, EF biscuits)
100g gluten free, dairy free, egg free marshmallows (here are some vegan marshmallows
festive gf sprinkles


Line a brownie tin with baking parchment and set aside. In a large saucepan, melt the dairy free margarine and chocolate over a low heat. Add the golden syrup and stir to combine. Remove from the heat and spoon about five tablespoons of the chocolate mix into a bowl and set aside.

Add the rice cereal/biscuits and marshmallows to the saucepan and stir until everything is coated in chocolate. Yum! Scrape the mix into the brownie tin and level with the back of the spoon.

Drizzle the reserved chocolate onto the surface of the Rocky Road and use the back of a spoon to spread it around. Don't worry if you don't coat the surface evenly, no one is going to care.

Sprinkle the surface of the Rocky Road with pretty, festive sprinkles and place the brownie tin in the refrigerator until the Rocky Road has set. 

Slice into squares and cram into your mouth to alleviate Christmas stress and the horrors of Western consumption.

© Pig in the Kitchen All Rights Reserved


Clare Taylor said...

Hear hear! Totally with you on the ridiculousness of overspending on Christmas. (I'm sure I've wittered on about it somewhere, too - great minds think alike). Bring back the tangerine at the bottom of the Christmas stocking, I say! (Well - maybe along with a few chocolate coins, a travel set of yahzee and a book or two. Luddite, me?)

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Hurrah! Let's form a society! And thank you for the mention of Yahtzee :-)

Vicki Montague said...

Yup, I will join the society! The society of 'normal' people when everyone else has gone mad! I too stand by in wonder as people proceed to spend huge amounts of money on their kids. Is it some way of re-paying the fact that they don't have much time for them? Who knows, but I know one thing for kids will be getting a few exceptionally exciting (if I were a kid) presents that won't cost a small fortune. And we will see lots of family, drink lots of booze and eat lots of chocolate...and cheese (sorry for those dairy-free people...luckily I don't have to feel guilty eating cheese as my daughter hates it anyway!). And a game of yahtzee wouldn't go amiss!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Ha ha, a society of three! It's gaining momentum, soon we'll all be giving lumps of coal as gifts and wondering why we ever wanted more!

freefrommum said...

Me too! Me too! It's complete insanity to spend that amount money for one day and then spend the other 364 days of the year trying to pay for it! Christmas is about silly games, silly jumpers, silly paper hats (anyone see a theme here?) and generally having lots of fun and laughter with those you love (ok and a few arguments too but hey it's only once a year). It's all got so very stressful and downright competitive these days. When people ask my 6 yr old son what he wants for Christmas he tells them he'd really like an iPad but his mum doesn't believe in them! Can't think where he got that idea...