Monday, 10 December 2012

Red Velvet Cake, gluten free, egg free, dairy free, vegan

Red Velvet Cake, gluten free, vegan, dairy free
Aww, cutesy Christmas scene
Stand by because I'm going to share with you.  (Stiff Upper Brits need to look away now.)

My childhood was fairly chaotic. Quite a few of life's traumatic events were dolloped onto my plate and it's truly amazing that I don't mainline Class A drugs on a daily basis. 

Most people actually think I'm sane. (Until they get me pissed and I tell them about trying to suffocate myself when I was 22.)

Ha ha, kidding!

Or am I?

Uncomfortable silence.

(Whaaa? No, she's kidding, right? She didn't just write that in a blog about cake??)

Anyway the point is; I have a really high threshold for chaos. Not in all areas of my life, but in the domestic, cleaning, tidying area; yep, I'm a Grade 1 slattern.

Obviously this is Not Good but if it weren't for the chaos tolerance, we would not have this blog my friends! How could I concoct recipes, photograph them and write about them if I had to clean floors and keep the washing pile under control??!

So this latest recipe is a triumph of sweet confection  over slatternly chaos. Or something like that.

 In a week when I was working like a dog in my other life and attending far too many nativities and carol concerts, I decided to step off the hamster wheel and bake.

But the damn recipe didn't work first time so it took longer than planned and as I baked in a frenzy the cobwebs grew longer and the beds have not been changed since ... muffled noise hand over mouth I'm not going to admit to that one here. 

Finally, it worked.

And so, just in time for Christmas, we have our very own allergy friendly version of red velvet cake!

And in my next post which will be BEFORE Christmas (I am on fire!), I'll tell you about the unfortunate thing that happened which meant red velvet cake landed on the floor but then I had a brainwave and you will not believe what you can do with spoiled cake! (Don't worry, I picked the dog hairs out of it first.)

Ha ha, kidding!

Or am I?

Uncomfortable silence. 

(Whaaa? No, she's kidding, right? She didn't pick cake up off the floor and then use it for something else??!)

Umm, am I a bit manic this time?

Not to worry, it will all come right soon. I'll do a bit of cleaning and magic elves will come to wrap all the presents that haven't yet been bought.

Crazy wide eyes, eyebrows raised to the hairline, high pitched laugh that is morphing into insane cackle. 

(Bad mood will definitely follow.)

Red Velvet Cake
I wavered a little with this recipe because I read that red velvet cake should ALWAYS have buttermilk in it. Hmmm. Well, I've included a version of buttermilk with coconut milk. But if coconut milk won't work for you, I'd use rice milk instead, cross your fingers and pray to the Christmas pygmies.

Eagle eyed readers will see that this is a version of my bog standard Chocolate Cake but hey; if the wheel ain't broke, why reinvent it? (Or something like that...)

All versions:
130g dairy free margarine
120g sugar
110g golden syrup
1 tbsp cocoa powder

½ tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 tbsps of coconut cream 
1 tbsp white wine vinegar

1-2 tsps of red Sugarflair colouring paste (not liquid) I used 'Christmas Red' (obvs)

A tub of Betty Crocker's seriously delicious icing

Gluten free version
175g of Doves Farm GF self-raising flour
¼ tsp xanthan gum

With wheat flour

175g self-raising flour (no need for xanthan gum)

Egg free version

1 heaped tsp Orgran 'no egg' egg replacer
1 heaped tbsp ground linseeds
 tsp of xanthan gum (half a ¼)
4-6 tbsps rice milk to make a thick paste

With eggs

1 large egg

  • Find some lovely cupcake cases and put them in your muffin tin
  • Heat the oven to 180° Celsius
  • If using the egg replacing mix, whisk the egg replacer, linseeds, xanthan gum and rice milk together and set aside
  • Put the coconut cream into a small bowl and add the tbsp of wine vinegar and set aside
  • Put the margarine, sugar and golden syrup into a large saucepan and melt over a low heat
  • Add the red colouring paste and mix to remove any lumps
  • To the saucepan, add either the egg replacing mix or the (beaten) egg
  • Add the GF flour and xanthan gum (or regular flour), cocoa powder, bicarbonate of soda to the saucepan and mix to combine (it might be easier to add alternate flour and coconut cream mix)
  • Add the coconut cream and mix
  • If the mixture is too stiff (you want soft, dropping consistency) gradually add more rice milk
  • Fill the cupcake cases about halfway (you want the cake to rise to the level of the cases, not much higher)
  • Bake in the oven for between 10 and 20 mins until risen and springy. Don't fret if they look flat rather than domed, the icing will cover a multitude of sins
  • Leave to cool and then slather with Betty's marvellous icing (or cream cheese icing if you can do dairy) and sprinkle with lovely Christmas sprinkles
  • Eat WAY too many and feel mildly sick
  • But it is Christmas, so feeling sick and chaotic is perfectly fine. (Just don't expect a clean house at the same time.)

Red velvet cake, gluten free, dairy free, egg free
Nom nom
© Pig in the Kitchen All Rights Reserved


Elsie Button said...

You are a domestic goddess - said with total sincerity x x

Iota said...

Did you have a glass of wine or two before writing this post? Which I really enjoyed, I hasten to add.

Also, I am confused re the link to the copywriter website. That picture isn't you.

Expat mum said...

Funny - you didn't strike me as this insane when we were sitting up till the wee hours in Di's kitchen. LOL

Recipe Junkie said...

BRilliant - love it. Here's to high chaos thresholds, and rescuing dog-hair'ed cake. Am with you all the way. BTW do you think the Christmas elves might actuall BUY the presents as well as wrap them?

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Elsie B, ah my darling, that is a very kind comment; thank-you!

Iota, sober as a judge ma'am! And phew glad you like the post. Am now in a paroxysm of anxiety because that picture IS me. (why does she think it isn't me? Is it because I've AGED so much since we last met? Have I grown so fat that I am UNRECOGNISABLE??)

Smile. I'm calm again now.

Expat Mum, I can't unleash the insanity in polite company! I just reserve it for anyone reading my blog :-)

Recipe Junkie, yay! Glad you liked it and chaos is definitely the way forward at Christmas. Had not thought for a second that the elves might buy the presents as well; genius! Speed dialling the Head Elf as we speak.

Pig x (not really insane, just temporarily unhinged. But in a good way, no?)