Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Egg free, vegan mayonnaise

Egg free mayonnaise, hot sauce 'n' chips
 Fabric circa 1973
 Because only then was camping cool 

"I love not camping!"

My passport cover depicts a glamorous, smiling woman in front of a hotel.

"I love not camping!"  reads the slogan.  My friends snigger and think no more of it.

But I am deadly serious. 

In my book, camping is one of the most primitive forms of shelter and to be avoided at all costs.

Not so long ago I wrote a diatribe about camping on   I exhorted one and all to avoid this most heinous activity, not least because it turns hitherto civil children into feral, singing, pyromaniacs.  I know this because I was forced into camping as a child.

And yet here I am, packing my car for camping in the coldest English Summer (term used loosely) since records began.

And it's all because of the recession.


Well, I want to visit a friend in Holland in July and the prices of B&Bs are not kind, particularly when you have four children and a dog.  The only solution that presented itself to me - and I was possibly under the influence at the time - was a tent.

It is cheap-ish and you can sort of come and go as you please.

Well.  It has snowballed out of all control.  For less than the price of three nights B&B in Holland, the house is full of items for camping that I hoped never to see again.  Apart from in a museum.

And of course when you've got the damned stuff, you may as well use it, right?  So some well-meaning friends told me to come and do a two night trial with them somewhere near Oxford.  And that is where I am going today.

Wall to wall rain is forecast coupled with temperatures usually only seen in an Arctic cold snap. 

Camping with food allergies. Was a purer form of torture ever devised?

And what do you do about food?  When you are a) vegetarian b) coping with food allergies?

I entered the twilight zone of the supermarket and discovered that Smash still exists, as do Spaghetti Hoops.  Cup-A-Soups are all the rage but - sadly - vegetarian ravioli appears to have had its day.

And during my foray into the world of packet food, I came across some vegan mayonnaise!  Surely this will taste like cack, I said to myself.  Turns out that it's not too bad.  Especially when you mix it with hot sauce and dig in with tortilla chips.

So turn up the heating my friends and snuggle down into your sofa.  I will be somewhere in the Cotswolds nursing a mug of tepid soup and chowing down on tortilla chips.  In my sleeping bag, in a cold, damp tent.

I really, really love not camping.

**stop press** Within hours of publishing this post, I received a call from my friends. Turns out not everyone who camps has had a frontal lobotomy. "It's going to rain." she said, "There will even be gales. We're not going."  So I wearily unpacked the car and for the last few days we have been living off packaged, crap food.  I've been reprieved.  I just hope Holland will be experiencing a heatwave when we visit in July.

Egg free mayo

Life Free From Egg Free Mayo

Look, it doesn't taste like 'real' mayonnaise, but it does add a mayonnaise-like texture to a sandwich.  And to make a creamy dip I think it works well.  I bought mine from Morrisons and apparently you can get it from Asda, Sainsbury's and Waitrose.  In the UK, you can also buy it online from

But eat it at home, not in a tent.

© Pig in the Kitchen All Rights Reserved


sugarpuffish said...

I prefer Tiger Tiger May-o (egg, dairy & gluten free) & I usually find it at Sainsburys, they also have a garlic version :)

Potty Mummy said...

So you're not interested in a camping weekend in Cornwall, then? (Stop throwing things, Pig!0

Marianne said...

Oh, dear, PITK, the rain is just tipping down here and I can't bear to think of you out in this camping! Hope you have found some lovely warm welcoming pubs to take refuge in. Lovely to see you are still blogging!

Ali Clark said...

Oh cripes, I feel awful for you. Camping in the cold and rain is torture (unless you're 18, squiffy on snakebite and there's music and partying going on all around ... under those circumstances camping might be fun). As a fully grown adult, accustomed to comfy warm living, with kids in tow, camping can be challenging. I want to like it. Last summer I bought a tent, in a moment of madness, but so far we've only slept in the garden! The kids loved it though, so with some reluctance I suppose I will take them further afield this summer. But only if it's guaranteed to be hot and dry.
Good luck! Ali.

Barbara said...

I am so grateful to have found your blog - all the blogs about wheat free veggie/vegan recipes I seemed to discover previously seemed to be from the US and contained ingredients I'd never heard of and couldn't afford to get hold of if I had. So THANK YOU! :O)

The food looks great and I love your sense of humour (I also live in Leicestershire so can empathise). As for camping... tried it once in Cornwall - still having flashbacks.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Hi Sugarpuffish, ooo, that mayo sounds interesting, I'll look out for it.

PottyM, camping in Cornwall? Is this the same Cornwall where it's all about the rain and rarely about the sun? No thanks :-)

Marianne, how lovely to hear from you again! Well thankfully, my friends called off the camping trip a few hours after I published this. So please, suspend all your sympathy for me!

Ali Clark, camping and being hungover?? oh that sounds awful! Secretly, I also want to like camping, mainly because the children seem to find it such a thrilling idea. But...nope, can't really see the attraction :-)

Barbara, Yay! I'm glad you've found my blog too! And what is it with Leicestershire? So much rain and so little sun... But all right, it is very pretty as well :-)

Pig x

Elsie Button said...

it worked out for the best for you - we just went camping in the heavy rain, cold, shitty miserable weather in snowdonia, and 8am the next morning we packed up and came home. BUT I am so impressed that you were even considering it - you've come a long way!!! x

Recipe Junkie said...

Get a camper van - your camping experience will be transformed, I promise you.

It's funny isn't it - I never camped as a child, and one of the reasons I love it now is because it DOES turn the kids into feral pyromaniacs. I blogged about it here:

But reading your post, maybe my kids will end up hating it and never going when they are adults...