Readers of a sensitive disposition should look away now because I’m going to use the C word.
Seriously, go now if you don’t want to read that most offensive of words.
There, I’ve said it.
You know I nearly did write the C word just to see the look on your face, but I managed to refrain. There’s something about truly awful words that makes me giggle, because some words are so offensive they actually become funny, don’t you find?
Anyway, back to Christmas. *wince*
It’s ok because it is ages away and we don’t need to do any hyperventilating into a bag or rabid list-making just yet.
But if you’re serious about this whole Christmas thing, may I suggest making your cake now? I know it seems preposterously early, but there’s a very good reason for getting it done before Halloween.
You see she’s a very clever lady who runs her own cake business and does impressive catering type things and has a very savvy husband who does her marketing and all sorts of other finger-on-the-pulse stuff. And when I saw Ali in September – September I say! – she was about to make her Christmas cakes for her customers.
I think the phrase was, ‘So I can really feed them well and get them perfect in time for Christmas.’
I liked that word, ‘perfect’, it really sucked me in. 'Maybe' I thought, 'if I bake my cake now like Ali, I will have a perfect Christmas.'
So mine is done and stares accusingly at me every day, ‘What’s going on? You’re supposed to be feeding me!’ It actually causes me to hyperventilate a little (not into a bag, that will come later) and I have to quickly add ‘Feed Christmas Cake’ to my list of things to do.
But apart from that I think it was a good thing to have done.
It meant that for one day only in late September, my kitchen smelt of Brandy and I permitted myself to play Christmas tunes as I baked. (If you need some good Christmas toons, please rush out and buy this CD, your festive period will be transformed forever.) There was none of the Christmas stress generally associated with Christmas music or cake baking (‘I should have made this weeks ago!’) and it was all very calming.
And if, after baking your cake this early, your Christmas still ends up being a time of stress, inebriation, hangovers, misery and please-let-it-all-be-over, you can do what I plan to do.
Which is blame my friend Ali.
You can find my Christmas cake recipe by clicking HERE. It really is a very tweakable recipe, so please substitute, add and subtract whichever ingredients take your fancy. But I can’t be held responsible for abject cake failures (but you could blame Ali...). This year my fancy was very much taken by these candied fruits.
Aren’t they lovely?! And badda-bing they weren’t candied using a wheat-derived sugar. They did cost me an arm and a leg, but that is what Christmas is all about n’est-ce pas? Anyway, off you go and do your cake and I’ll leave this photo montage for your delectation.
First you do this:
Then a bit of this and this:
Then after a bit you end up with this:
Then you kind of do this:
And well, sort of this: (I made - and ate this - for you in August, I call that devotion...) And then that's it, finished.
Happy Christmas Cake-making mes anges. Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?